disappointments.

Life is full of disappointments. 

In fact, sometimes I feel like things get good just so they can quickly turn around and life can look at how vulnerable you are and have a good long laugh. 

Today specifically has made me grateful my happiness comes from within myself. 

Although outside things can easily effect my mood and perspective, the outside is not my only source of happiness. Today has not been happy, in fact I can't remember the last time I shed this many tears. 

I still have many things to be happy about, I have wonderful friends, a loving family, a house to live in, a job, sunshine, a bright future and so much more. Maybe all things eventually work out, maybe they don't. I guess all I can do right now is hope for the best and be glad that I shared a happy month with a happy person. 

In the meantime, let's listen to some french music.

Recap of May to the beginning of June.

I have been a terrible blogger. I always have a problem where I have so much on my mind, I don't know how to share it all. So, I skip blogging all together. But I will try to do a short recap and then hopefully get better at updating this more often! To start off, I graduated!! It has been such a wonderful realization that I will not be going back to high school next year. Now, my future is all up to me, I can go in what ever direction I choose. That sense of independence makes me happy. 

This kid, Tanner Williams has made me so much happier, I didn't know it was possible, but voila it happened! :) 

The weather has been perfect. There has been quite a few rainy days, but also a lot of sunshine. Resulting in green everywhere and beautiful flowers. I absolutely love summertime in Utah. 

Yesterday, I returned from a weekend getaway to Oregon. My friend Katy's boyfriend, Tim graduated. So I tagged along with her. It was so beautiful there and again, perfect weather. One day, I am going to live somewhere that has year round summer weather. 

I feel like I have been to a million, give of take a few, graduations this month! 

no longer.

Colors Trapped 

Colorful strokes, filling the air, surrounding me,

telling me to be something

roboting movements moving me forward

in the same direction,

no distractions... 

That one.... pushing me, molding me

to fit the figure it longs to have

I am excape 

out of this darkness

where the colors will live 

They are trapped,

locked

with no self expression

This was written last year. Thankfully this is now just a poem, not an emotion. 

gratitude journal.

I started a gratitude journal because I am grateful for so many things. I decorated it to look like this. 

I like the scenery. I like the song. Last but not least I like dance. Enjoy.

Scatterbrained

I have been running around like a crazy person all week long trying to get everything ready so I am able to graduate on time. I apologize for this post, it probably makes no sense, considering I have lost my mind. But I have some exciting news! I am graduating in exactly one week from today! I am more than excited, I am ecstatic! Oh and other good news! Levi, Kaya's lover got his mission call today! He is going to Hong Kong China! I am so excited for him. The Month of May has been filled with so many wonderful things, and much more to come! :) 

I love to dance dance dance

It all started off at the beginning of my Sophmore year when I had this crazy thought pop into my head that maybe it would be fun to join the dance team at my school. Miraculously I made the team. Ever since my love for dance has matured. As all of you all probably know, because I talk about this subject way too much, I went to Folkuniversitetet and was part of their dance program in Linköping Sweden. I believe that is where I fell in love with dance. I am not saying by any means that I am a prodigy or even 'good' for that matter. But it makes me so incredibly happy, it doesn't matter if I'm amazing or not. What matters is I have fun doing it!

My wonderful dance coach and teacher Mrs. Fullmer was the one who really pushed me to start dancing. She encouraged me to stick with it even when I wanted to quit. If it weren't for her I would have a undiscovered joy in my life. If it weren't for her I wouldn't have attended Folkuniversitetet, which means I would have missed out on all the amazing experiences I had there. I would have never met one of the most amazing people I have met in my entire life, Linnea...... Fullmer, I owe you big time. 

Tribute to an amazing woman!

My heart is filled with gratitude, 

I am so lucky to have such a amazing mother and friend. 

She has been such a great example to me through out my whole life. Always keeping her head high and never giving up. She always expresses she loves me through her actions and words, and never fails to tell me she loves me. There is no way I can express how much I appreciate her and love her. But I really do, she's my hero. 

I hope one day I can measure up to be half the woman she is. 

I love you mom! 

Prom!

Prom was a success! I had a lot of fun :) Thanks Kota! 

Love.

Cecile and Ralf Huntzinger. Married 71 years, going on to 72. I hope to have a happily ever after just like my great grandparents one day.. 

Picture Taking.

I really enjoy taking pictures, so I thought I would share a few of my favorites! 

(Warning: some of these may just be my favorites because of the memories attached, not the photo quality)

Overjoyed.

I am so incredibly happy right now. Nothing particularly fantastic has happened. In fact, this weekend I haven't really done much of anything. But I made a choice to be happy, and I am! It makes me really sad for the people who choose to focus only on the negative in their lives. Every single human being has bad and good things that happen to them. It's part of life. Whether we are going to love life or hate it, is ultimately our decision.  

Over this past year, I feel like I have grown as a person in many ways. I no longer care what people think of me, and I don't try to change myself to 'fit in'. I want to surround myself with people who like me for who I really am and not who I pretend to be. I imagine that gets very tiring. I have more self confidence. I believe in myself, if I have a dream or goal, I believe that I can achieve it even if it takes a lot of hard work. If I fail, which I know I will many times, I will get back up and try again. Going to Sweden and being away from my 'normal' life for 3 1/2 months really helped me put everything into perspective. So many things that upset me were meaningless. It was so refreshing coming back realizing I can be who ever I want to be. I don't have to worry about the same things my friends and classmates worry about, I can try to help them, but I don't have to get involved in any sort of drama or contention. 

Happiness, there are many things that make me happy. I found myself thinking quite frequently last year, I will on be happy if........ But if I kept on thinking that way, I would never be happy. I would always be waiting and waiting to be happy. Now, everyday I find at least one thing to be happy about. Maybe it is sleeping in one extra hour, going to get frozen yogurt with Kaya and having a good talk, singing in the car with Katy, teaching Boston a new trick. Yesterday I got to hold this adorable baby girl, and that just filled my heart with joy. 

I guess what I am trying to say is, there is happiness everywhere. God made beautiful flowers, and the ocean, adorable baby's like the one above for our personal happiness. Not his, ours. He wants us to be happy.

My sister Kaya just came back from India, and they live in such terrible poverty there, I can't even imagine what it is like. She told me they have nothing, yet they are so happy. We have so much and yet so many people including myself sometimes have a difficult time finding happiness. I encourage everyone reading this to just take a few minutes every day to find happiness. It makes such a huge difference in every aspect of your life and everyone who you interact with. 

BE HAPPY! :) 

8 things I love this week.

I have had such a great week. I thought I would share a few things that added to its greatness! 

I love painting my nails in fun ways, and I found a way to do newspaper print nails! I love them. To learn how, go here.

Kaya came home from INDIA! :)

She brought me back beautiful clothes that I love! Thanks Kaya! 

.... More things from India that I love. 

Cuddling in a blanket and sipping hot tea on a rainy day. 

Eating a delicious chocolate bar with cute wrapping. 

I love looking outside and seeing all the blossoms on the fruit trees, reminding me summer is just around the corner. 

And last but not least... Boston. Although he can be very obnoxious, he always brightens my day. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Remember that you can always find happiness, whether your situation is good or bad, it is always waiting to be found. Sometimes you just have to search a little harder. 


"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places." ~ Roald Dahl

Spring Break #2

When spring break came along on Monday, my mom and I decided to go on a spontanious road trip.

It started out by driving 8 1/2 hours to Fallen Nevada.

 To visit my great grandparents! They have been married 71 years! That's right seventy one years!

On our way to Nevada, we decided we were so close to California that we might as well visit there too. So off to San Francisco and Oakland we went. (Unfortunatly I didn't take any pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge, so I stole one off google)

While we were in California, we visited both of my uncles and my cute cousins.

We went to the beach..

and went to Goloden Gate Park, as well as visiting Oakland

On our way back from California, we stopped at lake Tahoe, it was stunning.

When we got back to Nevada, we went out in the desert and visited some old indian ruins, and found petroglyphs!

I love how you can find so much variety in the U.S. not too far away from eachother. To sumit all up, I had a fantastic spring break!